This month’s blog topic is family, friends, and other important relationships.
These connections are important to people for obvious reasons, but when it comes to the mental and emotional stability of a person who is trying to make a huge lifestyle change – like the Breakthrough M2 program – they are really important.
I always commend the spouses who come in and sit through a 90-minute seminar with the potential dieter. They come because they want the other person to know that they are supported. I always remind the very fortunate women of their supportive spouses and how their journey will be a little easier because they have a cheerleader at home. Of course, this could also extend to friends and co-workers. When you have people who you hang out with letting you know they support your choices, it makes it easier to be confident and walk forward. When you know you don’t have peer pressure at home, at work or at family functions it helps you transition into your new healthy lifestyle.
But, not everyone has supportive people in their corner. We have women and men who have had spouses who blatantly sabotaged their efforts. Husbands bringing home cookies, candy, and Chinese food. Wives packing cheese, yogurt, leftovers, and sweet snacks after they were specifically asked by their spouse to follow the list given – which with this program, is a very simple list! But, maybe it’s a matter of getting the other individual’s buy in and really communicating to them why doing this is so important.
I had a very interesting conversation with a wife and mother of two teenagers. She had a sit-down with her family about her decision to do this program. She wasn’t asking permission, but she did want to let them know how strict the program is, why she was doing the program, what her weight loss meant to her, and how important and helpful their love and support was to her. Throughout her journey, her kids and husband were diligent about not bringing any food into the house they thought might tempt her. They didn’t complain about the healthier meals she began cooking or about her not eating out as much. Having their buy-in alleviated anticipated stress for her. Before the sit-down, she felt as if there might be arguing and confrontation about why she wasn’t buying certain snacks, going out to eat as much, and not making all the “usuals” for mealtime.
With co-workers (and even certain extended family members) it might not be as prudent to have or need their buy in on a decision you have made for yourself. Over and over again we have seen jealousy toward or taunting of a person who is trying to make a dietary life change. I must admit, more women than men are guilty of this behavior. A desire to change your weight and choosing a diet as your means to accomplish your goal will show you who really supports you. Many of our clients feel these people, who act like middle school bullies in a locker room do so because maybe they don’t want to see anyone succeed. Your dietary success can cause other people to look at their lack of success in their diet, or other areas they have failed to change. Or maybe they are jealous because the person who is losing weight is receiving attention. Either way, I think it’s important that you share your personal business with very few people – and be sure to choose them wisely.
One of my most favorite stories came from my amazing sister-in-law Nadine, who many of you know her as Coach Nadine. She worked in an office building with lots of women, many of whom were supportive and a few who weren’t. In large office settings, it seems as if there is a celebration or special snack being brought in all the time for something. Nadine had one woman who kept reminding her as if this woman had innocently forgotten, how Nadine couldn’t have the delicious snacks being served because she was “still on the diet.” After the 4th or 5th event, Nadine had heard enough, looking right at her, she firmly and politely said, “No, I can have whatever I want here, but I am CHOOSING NOT TO.” That was the last time the woman said anything to her, and Nadine went on to lose 100 pounds in 6 months. Please stand in your power. Don’t let anyone deter you from your goals. Your wellness comes first!
One final thought: from the Bible, James 1:14 paraphrased says “A person is tempted and enticed by their own heart’s desires.” Think about that truth, please. Even though the people around you may annoy you, tempt you to join in their behavior when they know you are trying to stay true to your diet plan, or don’t have the support you need, it does not mean it is their fault when or if you give in. If you don’t want the temptation you won’t give into it, period. If you do allow the temptation, then know it is still a desire in your heart and it will be something you need to be worked on. On the flip side, if you keep saying no and there is a person in your life who keeps trying to tempt you, it’s time to put this person in their place or if you need to, detox your world of the person!
The most important relationships you can have is with God and yourself. Here you will find your greatness, your strength, and your ability to accomplish anything and everything! Stay true to you, your beliefs, and those around you who are positive and let go of anyone or anything negative.